Lost Without You
by Tater17
Summary: FINISHED. (BA)The night Riley left, Xander told her to go after the man she loved, and she did. Only it wasn't who the gang thought it would be. She, Dawn, and Spike go to LA.
1. Running after her true Love

By: Tater

Title: Lost Without You

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the story idea itself.

Rating: PG13

Summery: This is about the episode that was shown last night. I have never been fond of Riley, and hate him - or really the whole idea of Buffy with Riley. Hell I hate the idea of her with anyone EXCEPT Angel. Anyways, I was not happy when Buffy ran after him thinking she loved him, so 'Instead of Buffy not letting Riley walk away, she goes after Angel'.

Author's Note: I am writing after seeing last night's ep of Buffy, because it makes me sick how she says she loves Riley. I have other stories as well, I would like it very much if you could R/R those. Oh, if you want more to this you must R/R good or bad. And please tell me a better title if you have one.

**Chapter One:**

Riley and Spike sat talking in his crypt about the young slayer..

"Sometimes I think I go the better deal." Spike says, "Cause even when your with her, your not."

Then he thinks a minute, "Nah, you got the better deal." he says sarcasticly.

"Yeah. I did." Riley said, thinking it was the truth.

"Riley, are you ever going to open your eyes? She doesn't love you."

"Yes she does." Riley responded angrily.

"No she doesn't. She still wants Angel. Your just the rebound guy. She'll never love you because she doesn't have the heart to, he still claims it, and she still lets him. Their story, their love it was disgraceful to the underworld of dark and disgraceful to the light world. I was there when they suffered great pain, and losing each other. I caused some of it! Riley just wake up."

"She does not want some vampire over me. What does he have that I don't?"

"He never hurt her-" Spike was cut off.

"Yes he did, he left her heartbroken."

"Because her mum made him go. Now listen you little weenie. He never hurt her, never cheated on her, never loved another, or wanted another. Didn't have a problem with the fact she could in some cases - hell in most kick his ass. He understood what she was saying without her having to say it. He knew her inside and out. Angel - the bloody pansy- was the only one she ever let her gaurd down to. And his love was so great for her, that after he lost his soul, Angelus still loved her. He couldn't ever kill her. Dawn-"

"Dawn wasn't back then and isn't now."

"Would you just shut-up for a bloody second. Yes, in a way she was. We have the memories, and she sure as hell is real now. Angel loved her as family, and treated her well. He helped her study, played cards with her. Read her books. And if one of the nicknames he had for her she hated, he stoped calling her that. Dawn's approval means a lot to Buffy, and the only boyfriend she has ever approved of was Angel. Not to mention, Angel would have been able to tell that Faith had switched body's with Buffy. Even on the first day they met, he would have been able to tell. They're soul mates, and you - your just a rebound guy that helps sometimes to get rid of the pain. Can't you tell that when you two are having sex, you don't hear her whisper Angel's name instead of yours?"

Riley, now pissed, got up and left the crypt, but not beforing hearing.

"Buffy would rather never have sex again if she could be with Angel, then to have sex with other men who loved her, and could spend days with her. And children Riley, she only would want Angel's and if he wasn't the father, then no children at all."

"You got burned with Angel, and you've been treating Riley like a rebound guy when he's the one that comes around once in a lifetime. You can't just let him walk away. If you love him, or ever loved him, and you think you could still love him and make it past your differences then go get him, but if not let him leave you."

Buffy's eyes were filling with tears, but not for Riley.

"The gang and I have talked, we all think Riley is a much better choice for you then Angel. We don't think we could bear it if you and Angel got together again. And we know you won't, cause you love Riley and we don't have to worry of losing you as a friend to Angel. Now run, and go get him."

Buffy took off running. She made it to her house in ten minutes time. Buffy opened the door to see Willow sitting there with Giles, Tara, Anya, Dawn, and Xander.

"Xander?" Buffy asked.

He showed her his keys. "I drove.. where's Riley?"

"Doesn't matter. Dawn come here."

"This is a very important decision for you to make." she whispered into her ear. "Who do you like better Angel or Riley."

"Angel." She whipsered back without hestation.

"Then pack your bag." Buffy said aloud.

"What?!" Everyone but Dawn exclaimed.

"I am going to get the love of my life back."

Buffy and Dawn ran upstaires leaving everyone cheering.

"Buffy."

"Yeah?" Buffy said rushing around for her things.

"I heard them talking, they said if you went back to Angel they couldn't be your friend. Said they couldn't risk it. Angelus I mean."

Buffy stopped. "I am willing to lose them for Angel. And mom wouldn't stop us, she'll be happy if we are. Are you ready to risk loosing them?"

"For you and Angel yes. But never leave me Buffy." Dawn said.

Buffy grabbed her sister into a fierce huge.

"Never Dawnie, Never. Now finish packing."

They ran down staires together to see their soon to be ex friends standing there.

"How are you going to get Riley? He's leaving the country and we don't know where he's going."

"I'm not getting Riley."

"What?!" Xander asked.

"Xander, what you said to me, you should have said it on graduation. I've been burned with Riley, but Angel's the one that comes around once in a lifetime. I get my mother after the surgery. We'll be up tomorrow after dark."

"Buffy," Giles began, "You can't just leave. We have to discuss this, and there are so many problems with you and Angel having a relationship."

She just looked at Giles. "I love him - he makes me happy and thats all that matters. You guys and either trust me and back me up or we can just end the friendship here. Your choice."

With that they left.

Buffy walked into Spike's crypt.

"Spike!" she yelled.

"Yeah, what do you need luv?"

"You to come with us."

"I didn't do anything, I swear to it."

" No, pack you things, and get into your car, we're going after Angel."

Spike smiled. "I wondered when you'd come around."

Angel Investigation's:

Buffy walked in, with a tired Dawn, and Spike at their side.

"Angel Investigation's we help the- Buffy!" Cordy said leaving Angel office. "Angel, Buffy's here!"

Angel came out. "What is it, what's wrong? Why did you bring bags?"

"Angel I need to talk to you." Buffy looked at Dawn and Spike, they nodded. "There's no easy way to say this. And its out of the blue I know but I still love you. Riley left me a few hours ago after I caught him letting vampires drink him. He said he felt as thought I didn't need him. And he was right. I didn't need him because I only needed you. I have always wanted and needed you."

"Buffy. I- nothing has changed on why we can't. It's been too long. Our lives have changed. You've moved on."

"No, I haven't Angel. I compare everyone to you. And no one even comes close. I never should have let you walk away. We can work through our differences."

Angel thought a moment. He can't, they can't. "Buffy, if that's all. I would like you to leave." With that he turned around and began to walk away - it was almost the hardest thing he'd ever done.

" Dawn and I left our friends to come see you. They'll probably never speak to us again after last night."

"Thats your problem." Angel said harshly.

"Buffy," Spike said with a bit of anger. "Tell him."

Angel's comment pissed him off.

Tears began to slide down Buffy's cheeks. "I'll never forget." she whispered. Spike was the only one she had told that she remembered. The two of them had one strange friendship.

Angel stopped, dead in his tracks and turned around. "What? What did you say?"

His eyes too, were filling with tears. He couldn't have heard right. Could he of?

"I'll never forget Angel, I'll never forget. What we had, what we could have had." Buffy repeated the same exact word she had on the forgotten day.

"Oh god Buffy." Angel said now crying.

TBC...........


	2. Talking things out-sort of

By: Tater

Title: Lost Without You

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the story idea itself.

Rating: PG13

Summery: This is about the episode that was shown last night. I have never been fond of Riley, and hate him - or really the whole idea of Buffy with Riley. Hell I hate the idea of her with anyone EXCEPT Angel. Anyways, I was not happy when Buffy ran after him thinking she loved him, so 'Instead of Buffy not letting Riley walk away, she goes after Angel'.

Author's Note: I am writing after seeing last night's ep of Buffy, because it makes me sick how she says she loves Riley. I have other stories as well, I would like it very much if you could R/R those. Oh, if you want more to this you must R/R good or bad. And please tell me a better title if you have one.

**Chapter Two:**

**Angel POV**:

I walk out of my office and see her standing there with Dawn and Spike. Why Spike? I wonder why is she here- with bags. Why didn't she call? I fight the urge to go and wrap her in my arms and to never let her go. She's with Riley now. There's nothing for us. I've begun noticed everytime it gets just a little bit eaier for us, something always sends us right back to each other. I'd said it was the PTB but they'd never allow it.

"Angel I need to talk to you." She looks upset and tired - worn.

She goes on to say Riley left her. How could he? Doesn't he see what he had? Then why did I leave? I am actually thrilled deep down he gone. He wasn't good enough for her. She says he was letting vampires drink from him, and she still loves me. She still wants me, and needs me.

"Buffy. I- nothing is the same. It's been too long. Things have changed. You've moved on." I say colder than I meant.

"No, I haven't Angel. I compare everyone to you. And no one even comes close. I never should have let you walk away. We can work through our differences."

She seems dead set on being with me, but I know it can never be. She deserves better.

"Buffy, if that's all. I would like you to leave."

She's too tempting. With what I can, I manage to walk away from her. Again.

" Dawn and I left our friends to come see you. They'll probably never speak to us again after last night."

"Thats your problem." I said harshly. Too harshly, I never meant to sound like I didn't care.

"Buffy," I hear Spike say. "Tell him."

Tell me what? Is she pregnant? Has she killed someone? Was she with Spike?

I see tears slide down her cheeks. Did I just make her cry? Or is it was she's going to say?

"I'll never forget." she whispers.

I stop, dead in my tracks do a double take. Did I hear her say those words. No, it was , she was refering to something else. But now I have to know.

"What? What did you say?"

My eyes filling with tears. Tears of hope that she remembers, and tears of fear she does. She shouldn't have to remember, or to know.

"I'll never forget Angel, I'll never forget. What we had, what we could have had."

"Oh god Buffy." I said now crying.

How could she remember? I rush to her. Dawn and Spike move away from her. She no longer needs them for her support. I'm her support.

"Never forget what, Spike?" Dawn asks her other favorite vampire.

Cordeila, who watched the entire thing steps in. "When your older Dawn."

"Oh come on. I'm about to be 16."

"How about," Spike says. "If Buffy says it's okay I'll tell ya."

"Alright."

**Buffy's POV**:

"Buffy, lets go some where we can talk." Angel suggests.

All I can do is nod.

We walk up the staires and into his room, but not before I look behind me at Dawn.

"We'll take care of her." I hear Cordeila say as Wesly walks in.

"Dawn! Why good to see you. Sp-Spike."

I smile.

Now we're at Angel's room.

"Nice." I say looking around. It has old art. Pretty much the room suites him. Dark, with fashionable art and a buddah.

"I- Thanks." He says with uncertainty.

Angel pulls me over to the bed. I think about what could be happening, but I know it won't. I have to keep from smiling. He sets me down.

Then he goes and gets a chair from the other side of the room, he sits in front of me.

Angel looks so beautiful. He runs his left hand through his hair and a ring gets caught in it. He pulls it out and I see its the claddugh ring. I lost mine long ago. I place it on the very spot I killed him. The very spot he came back to me. I placed it there to say I'd never fully move on. I'd love him forever, and forever I belonged to him dead or alive.

"I lost mine." I say.

"Wh-?" He seems confussed.

"The ring. After I came back from LA. I placed it on the spot where I sent you to... where I killed you. And after you came back I searched everywhere for it, and after you left I still couldn't find it."

"I have it." He says. I feel happy. I'm gald it isn't lost, but I wish I still had it.

"Angel..." I say before he can say anything, before anymore minutes pass us by "I love you. I always have and always will. No matter who I've been with, or what I've done. I don't care about your past. You're the one for me. I'll love you until the day I die, and so forth. When you left, you didn't leave me for the better. I was left to fight the darkness and monsters under the bed, alone. Everytime I was with Riley I thought about you. Now that he's gone, and I realize the truth I love you, and nothing can keep us apart. Have you noticed that everytime it seems to get easier on us something happens and we end up seeing each other? I mean is that not a sign?"

I am trying to convince him. And I hope it works, my happiness depends on it.

**Angels POV:**

She's trying to convince me of us being together, but she deserves better. Then again, she doesn't seem happy, and Cordy said when they talk she seems as though somethings missing. And when I'm with her I feel at ease, I feel at home. She's my salvation.

I look into her eyes.

"How do you remember?" I ask.

"How could I forget?" She asks and states. Kinda like someone would say.. 'Duh!'

"But they said-" I start, she cuts me off.

"Yeah they said I wouldn't remember, and the PTB have said we'd never love, that we'd be better off together, then apart. They can't make up their minds. Now I know, because I've grown, we all have destiny's and we should believe in destiny, but destiny is what we chose it to be - it's what we make of it. No I can't get out of being the slayer, but I can chose if I'm with the man I love."

I listen to her. Ha, and I thought I was right.

"I thought I had made the right decision."

"Thats why the PTB can't make up their minds, there are no right or wrong choices or desicions only the consequences of what we chose. You told me that once. Angel please. Can't you see we're nothing without each other? And I will not go back to Sunnydale and play their puppet. Please."

I've never really seen her beg for anything, and it seems like she is now. I know she's right. So we will go through the future together.

"Your right."

She throws her self in my arms. "I love you." she whispers. I whisper it back.

"Angel, we'll talk more once I've had some sleep. Can I crash somewhere?" She asks, but I want her where she is.

"Yeah, right where you are." I say smiling.

"Hold me."

I nod. Forever I will hold her, never again will she leave my arms.

Whose POV thats for you to decide:

The only certain thing about the future is uncertainty itself. And together we shall go through the uncertainy, and face what ever the world throws at us, not just as warriors, or friends, or because of destiny, but because we embrace all, and we are soulmates.


	3. Wonderment and SUPRISE- Atleast for the ...

**Chapter. 3**

Dawn woke up and felt strong arms around her small frame. She looked over to see Spike.

She smiled.

"Morning." She said smiling.

"Morning luv."

"Buffy's gonna kill us. So is Angel."

Spike laughed. "I hope not."

"Me to. I really like you Spike, more than I should."

"Yeah, I know the feeling. I'm a vampire for God's sake."

"Angel was."

"True."

"Doesn't the fact that I drink blood bother you, doll?"

Dawn shook her head. "No, it doesn't. It didn't when Angel did it. Thank God ,though, you don't love my sister."

They laughed. "Me, love a slayer? No that's Angel's job."

Spike leaned down and kissed her. They both smiled against each other's mouth's. They had yet to be caught, and didn't think it'd happen anytime soon.

Buffy woke up. She thought it had all been a dream. She wished it hadn't been. Buffy then rolled over, and her arm Hit a familar body.

"Angel?" She moaned and kinda whispered. Buffy felt like she hadn't slept all night.

He rolled over and smiled.

"Hey."

Buffy grinned.

"So I wasn't dreaming."

"No."

"Good." She smiled.

They layed there in silence for a few minutes before Angel broke it.

"How did you keep your cool if you remembered? You saw me and I was about to die."

"I don't know. I wonder that myself. I guess because you wanted so much for me not to know so I wouldn't have been plagued by the memories so I guess I did it for you."

Buffy and Angel both got up, he began making breakfast.

"What are we gonna do?" Buffy asked, hoping he really truely wanted to try being together.

"I was thinking, to ensure my soul, we could stack up on Orbs of Thashulas."

Buffy laughed.

"I love you." She said without thought.

"Me too." Angel replied.

Buffy began to wonder if this was too fast. She hoped Angel wasn't just being with her because she remembered.

She got up and went to where Dawn and Spike had slept.

She knocked.

Dawn and Spike we're in a heavy make out session when the knock came.

"Dawn, Spike, you in there?"

"Ummm yeah, hold on. I'm just waking up."

Both Spike and Dawn fixed themselves and Spike layed down on the pallet next to the bed and ruffled it up, then calmed down.

Dawn opened the door.

"What took so long? If I didn't know any better I'd think you too we're making out."

Buffy laughed, then Dawn did after almost freaking. She thought they had been busted.

"Come on breakfast. You too Spike."

Spike agreed and got up. When the they back to the kitchen.Buffy got this weird feeling something was going on that they weren't telling her, but she shrugged it off. For now, she had to worry about her mother, and the gang in LA.

AN: What did ya think. LET ME KNOW please! That's how I judge is I should keep it going!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

By: Tater

Title: Lost Without You

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the story idea itself.

Rating: PG13

Summery: This is about the episode that was shown last night. I have never been fond of Riley, and hate him - or really the whole idea of Buffy with Riley. Hell I hate the idea of her with anyone EXCEPT Angel. Anyways, I was not happy when Buffy ran after him thinking she loved him, so 'Instead of Buffy not letting Riley walk away, she goes after Angel'.

Author's Note: I am writing after seeing last night's ep of Buffy, because it makes me sick how she says she loves Riley. I have other stories as well, I would like it very much if you could R/R those. Oh, if you want more to this you must R/R good or bad. And please tell me a better title if you have one.

_Dear Dairy,_

_So far the love spell is working - sort of. Thank God it worked some. The spell completely skipped Xander and hit Spike instead because he ended up standing infront of Xander right as it was hitting. But thats alright, so long as I have someone. I am so tired of being alone. Yea yea I know I am only 15 I'll find someone. No I won't, not someone who will fully accept who I am and how my life works that won't die within a week. As much as I enjoy being part of the scoobies now I do wish for a normal life sometimes. Guess thats what Buffy felt like all those years. Hell I am sure thats her one wish even now._

_Oh and about that spell - Spike no longer seems to have really ANY feelings for Buffy. Yay. I just wish I didn't need a spell to get a guy. Ugh. Well Buffy is calling me, I gotta run._

_Love Always,_

_Dawn_

"Hey Dawnie. Whatcha writing?" Buffy asked when she wondered out of the kitchen.

"Oh nothing." She replied quickly getting up from the table, closing her notebook, and walking over to the sofa.

"Alright." Buffy said. She was noticing how funny she was acting, and even Spike seemed a little off. The slayer just shrugged it off though, it was probably her.

Angel walked up behind Buffy causing her to jump a little.

"Hey whats the matter with you? You alright?" He asked concerned.

"Yea I was just in deep thought and you startled me. Didn't hear ya comin'."

"Sorry. Well the kitchen is all cleaned up from breakfast, would you like to talk some more?"

She nodded. "Yea we do have a lot to discuss. It is silly to think I can ust run in here and everything be as though we never were apart. Let me take care for Dawn and I'll meet you where in five minutes?"

"My office upstaires."

"Alrighty."

Angel lightly kissed her hair and walked away. Buffy stood in the same spot until she heard the lift.

The slayer walked over to the couch and sat down next to Dawn.

"So you want to tell me whats going on or do I have to beat it out of you?" She said with a half smile.

Her sister looked up. 'Does Buffy know? Does she have an idea? No she couldn't - impossible' "Buffy I am fine - really."

"Liar."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Come on Dawn just talk to me. That's what I'm here for."

She just looked down. No way could she tell her everything, she'd freak out. "It's just mom. I am really worried about her. We don't know if everyone at home will talk to us anymore. And then there's the Big Bad."

"Oh sweetie - everything will be fine. Mom will be okay, the gang aren't going to NOT talk to us, and as for that Big Bad - have we ever had something come against us we couldn't handle?"

"Nope." Dawn said shaking her head.

"See? We'll beat it just fine. You don't worry about a thing. While were here you just relax." Buffy said standing up and walking towards the lift.

"I've gotta go talk to Angel. You need to work on all the school work you owe."

"Buffy! You said RELAX!" Dawn said whining. She so thought she was getting out of homework.

The slayer just walked on without saying anything and smiling. Everything would be alright. Atleast she hoped.

"Cordiela - how in the hell are these files organized? What order? I can't find a thing in here!" Wesly said.

"Ugh!" Cordy said walking over to the file cabinet. "What do you need?"

"Spellman!"

She opened the 4th cabniet 2nd drawer and pulled it out. "Here, now stop your whining!"

Buffy just laughed. "Do you two always argue like that?"

Cordeila nodded. "Pretty much. I'm the only one who understand filing I guess."

Angel walked out of his office. "There you are Buff."

"Yea sorry Dawn and I had a small talk."

"It's fine." He said grabbing his coat. "Look we have to put off our talk, I just got a call on a case I've been working on. I'll be gone about a half an hour."

"I can come with." She offered.

"It's dangerous."

"And I'm the slayer." She said with a tone.

"Alright grab your stakes and lets go. Cordy can you take care of Dawn?"

"Will do boss."

With that they left.

TBC......

Sorry so short and sorry it's taken so long, but you'll get more soon! I promise!!!!


	5. And he will love me

By: Tater

Title: Lost Without You

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the story idea itself.

Rating: PG13

Summery: This is about the episode Into The Woods. I have never been fond of Riley, and hate him - or really the whole idea of Buffy with Riley. Hell I hate the idea of her with anyone EXCEPT Angel. Anyways, I was not happy when Buffy ran after him thinking she loved him, so 'Instead of Buffy not letting Riley walk away, she goes after Angel'.

Author's Note: I am writing after Into The Woods ep of Buffy, because it makes me sick how she says she loves Riley. I have other stories as well, I would like it very much if you could R/R those. Oh, if you want more to this you must R/R good or bad. And please tell me a better title if you have one.

**Chapter Five:**

"Well what do we do now?" Willow asked Giles.

"We wait."

"We wait?" Xander asked bewildered. "How can you say that? I just helped shove my bestfriend out HER front door by threatening not to be her friend because you all said so and I am supposed to wait and see if she hates me or not."

"Xander when all this started I said you must trust me." Giles said. "As far as I can tell Buffy has been very miserable since Angel left. Everything just feel into place. Riley's new 'habits', him leaving – I knew that talk you gave her would send her back to him. We have nothing to worry about now with those two. We all know about his Shansu, the stars have all aligned so it's begun."

"I still don't understand why we had to do this. All we had to do was tell her and give her our blessing."

"No Xander." Willow said. "She needs to realize it is Angel she loves and wants without needing our approval, and without worrying about what others will think and say. Even though we knew it was unlikely, there was still a possibility she could have gotten over him these past few years. Buffy needed to be sure he IS the one she really wanted without someone telling her how to live her life."

"I just hope you guys are right about everything." He said, worrying about his slayer friend.

* * *

Cordeila quietly made her way upstairs and rounded the corner to walk into the room Dawn was in just to gather some books needed for a new case. As she did she quietly heard chanting and decided not to walk in right away but to sneak a peek at the situation.

The seer turned her head ever so slightly and was able to catch a glimpse of what appeared to be a sleeping Spike, and Dawn on the floor chanting. Cordeila went wide-eyed

_"From the East to the West_

_From the North to the South_

_All four corners of the earth_

_Shall he gives his love to me_

_With this blood I demand of thee_

_My love shall be returned by his_

_To me and me alone."_

With that Dawn cut her hand while holding a very thorny red rose. She then placed it in the center of her circle and smoke arose. She placed her hand over a large cup and let several drops of her blood fall into it, she then placed once rose pedal in the drink she had mashed up into the drink.

Dawn got up and began cleaning up. She poured the bag of blood she had stashed away into cup and slowly began to wake Spike.

"Hey, Spike. Wake up." She said softly, nudging him – trying not to spill his cup.

"Ugh.." He said. "I feel like I was run over by a truck."

"Here, I brought you some lunch." She said smiling.

Spike greedily took the cup and sucked it down in a matter of seconds. "Mmmm little bit. But it's had an odd taste to it lately. Do you know where Buffy has been ordering it from?

"Nope." She said acting as though she didn't know anything.

They sat there for a few minutes talking, and soon it became flirting. Then suddenly flirting became kissing.

Cordeila ran down the stairs as quickly and as quietly as possible.

"Wesly!" She screamed in a whisper.

Nothing.

"Wesly!!!" She was a little louder this time.

"Yes?" He came out of his office suddenly. "What's with all the fuss?"

"Dawn, Spike, love spell, kissing!" She said urgently, running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to find her cell phone.

"Do what?"

She finally stopped once she had her cell phone in her hand.

"Okay – I walk upstairs for books, and Dawn is in the process of doing a love spell on Spike!" She said dialing Angel's cell number.

"Oh God Angel! Get here! No one is hurt, just hurry!!"

She hung up and just looked at Wesly.

* * *

Buffy and Angel had just dusted their last vampire when the call had come in. This "mission" wasn't very hard.

It was about three dozen vampires – mainly newbies who decided to get Angel's attention, would go around picking off some of his old cases, and by trashing Wesly's car, and trying to break into the Hotel. They were convinced they could destroy Angelus. Well, they got his attention, but in the end he won.

"Newbies are such idiots." Buffy said. "Were you like that?"

"God I hope not." He replied.

That's when the call came in from Cordy. Seeing as how she decided not to really go into detail and they didn't really know what in the hell was happening the two rushed home as quickly as possible.

Once they got there they found a very distraught Cordeila and an upset Wesly sitting at the desk.

"Well, what's going on?" Angel asked.

"Where's Dawn is she okay?" Buffy asked urgently. If anything happened to her, she didn't think she could handle it.

"She fine, more than fine actually." Wesly said.

"And she is what the problem is." Cordy added.

Now both Angel and Buffy were confused.

"Ooookay." Buffy said. "Anyone care to explain?"

"I went upstairs to get some books outta the room Dawn was in, I thought she was sleeping so I was very quiet. As I rounded the corner I heard chanting going on so instead of walking on in I watched."

The slayer just nodded her head. She was gonna kill Dawn.

"Buffy, she umm…. How do I say this? Perhaps you should go upstairs and take a look."

"No just tell me."

"She put a love spell on Spike."

"SHE WHAT?!" Angel and Buffy both exclaimed. "No, no, no you're joking right?" Buffy asked.

"I wish we were." Wesly said, pulling out a small book. "We found this on her nightstand. Dawn really is asleep now and Spike is downstairs in the training room."

Buffy took her sisters diary, sat down, and began to flip through it.

TBC…………..


	6. Chapter 6

By: Tater

Title: Lost Without You

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the story idea itself.

Rating: PG13

Summery: This is about the episode that was shown last night. I have never been fond of Riley, and hate him - or really the whole idea of Buffy with Riley. Hell I hate the idea of her with anyone EXCEPT Angel. Anyways, I was not happy when Buffy ran after him thinking she loved him, so 'Instead of Buffy not letting Riley walk away, she goes after Angel'.

Author's Note: I am writing after seeing last night's ep of Buffy, because it makes me sick how she says she loves Riley. I have other stories as well, I would like it very much if you could R/R those. Oh, if you want more to this you must R/R good or bad. And please tell me a better title if you have one.

* * *

**Chapter Six: **

Sadly this was a newer diary of Dawn's. It was maybe a week old, and had few entries in it, but what few were there were quite detailed and long.

The slayer began to read silently to herself, skipping through passages.

_Dear Dairy,_

_I got a new dairy today. Thank God. My other one was so full that I was writing on notebook paper, numbering the pages, and stuff it in my old one. _

_My life totally sucks. Everyone at school has a boyfriend, and everyone else I know outside of mom is seeing someone. Hell, even Buffy's got someone. (But he's a pansy, atleast that's what Spike likes to call him.)_

A few pages over…..

… Xander is very cute. He makes my tummy twist and turn. But then again so does Spike….

Flipping…..

_Dear Dairy,_

_Mom is in the hospital for her surgery. They are prepping her. I really am scared, but I try to pretend I'm not. I can't loose my mother. Dad is hardly around, I don't even know him! I need atleast one out of the two parents I have!_

Same page farther down…..

_I am going to try the spell tonight to have Xander notice me. Pehaps it'll work!_

Next page…..

_Dear Dairy,_

So far the love spell is working - sort of. Thank God it worked some. The spell completely skipped Xander and hit Spike instead because he ended up standing infront of Xander right as it was hitting. But thats alright, so long as I have someone. I am so tired of being alone.

The slayer looked up from the small book she held in her hands.

"Dawn can never know we have seen this." She said quietly.

Everyone nodded.

"Angel, there is proof enough in here that she has done it. The spell was aimed for Xander and was meant for him just to notice her but it hit Spike instead."

The souled vampire just shook his head.

"Why would she do this?" He asked, looking at Buffy, hoping she had gotten some answers in the dairy.

Buffy looked down. "She feels alone and it's my fault."

"No, no it's not." He said sitting down next to her and rubbing her back.

"Yes it is Angel. I've been so busy with mom, school, slaying, and putting Riley a head of her she had no one! That's what I am here for, and I am failed my job as big sister. We have to fix this. Break the spell first and then – then I gotta fix me and Dawn."

Everyone nodded.

"Cordeila do you remember how she was doing the spell?" Angel asked her.

"Yea, well sort of. I could only see so much. Spike was asleep, I am sure Dawn did a really simple one because she had to add a few drops of her blood and the rose pedal she used to Spike's blood and had him drink it."

They turned to Wesly.

"It shouldn't be too difficult to undo but seeing has how I don't know what she used it could be tricky. It could get away by itself in a few hours or it could be a week." He said.

Buffy just looked down. "She used Willow and Tara's things but I don't know what they were. A few hours we can handle, a week I don't think so."

"Buffy get on the line to Willow and see if anything is missing from her things. If they are ask her to figure out what she used and see if it's a spell with a long duration period or a short one."

The slayer looked away. Her life REALLY sucked at the moment.

"Just call. I am sure she'll want to talk with you." Angel encouraged.

She just nodded. "Alright. Go and keep Spike busy. Send him out for food, a fake mission – something!"

* * *

"Hello." Willow said cheerily, picking up the phone.

"Will I need your help." Buffy said in a small tone.

"Anything Buff you know that." She replied. It was then she remember the argument that had happened between them.

"Dawn aimed a love spell at Xander and it hit Spike instead. We have no idea what she used and we need to know if it'll go away within a few hours or not. And if it doesn't how do we break it. What materials are you missing?"

"Hold on let me look." Willow was astounded. How in the hell could Dawn do something like this? Talk about surprise.

The witch looked through her things, a few rose pedals were missing, one rose, some cashew herbs, some of her chalk, and an old magical mixing bowl.

She picked the phone up, "I can't tell you want spell she did, but based on what's missing it's barely even a level one spell. It should ware off in a few hours so there is absolutely nothing to worry about . When was it done?"

"About an hour and a half ago."

"Let's see it's nine now, so it'll be over by midnight."

"Alright, thanks Willow."

"Why'd she do it?" The wiccan wanted to know.

"I gotta go get everything under control. I appreciate all your help. Thanks"

With that she hung up.

* * *

Willow just looked at the phone after the line went dead. Everything was going too far, Buffy thought they all hated her for her choice, but that was far from the truth.

She called Giles.

"Hello?"

"Giles it's Willow, we have problems." She said quickly.

"What is it?"

"Besides the fact that Dawn put a love spell on Spike, Buffy is convinced we hate her. She didn't exactly say it but when I talked to her-"

Giles cut her off. "Love spell on Spike? Willow do explain."

"I don't know why she did it all I know is that she has been doing it with my stuff and Buffy caught her tonight and called me to ask about it. Her voice said it all Giles. She thinks we hate her. We've all got to get down there to her, tell her what's going on and make sure she knows we don't hate her! Buffy wouldn't even talk to me outaide of the reason she called!"

Giles sighed. It had gotten a bit far if Buffy thought they did indeed hate her.

"Alright Willow. Get Xander on the line and I will meet you two in half an hour at your house."

"Alright, bye Giles."

Willow spent the next half an hour getting Xander, and packing a bag for a few days. This was going to be a long weekend.


	7. Chapter 7

By: Tater

Title: Lost Without You

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the story idea itself.

Rating: PG13

Summery: This is about the episode that was shown last night. I have never been fond of Riley, and hate him - or really the whole idea of Buffy with Riley. Hell I hate the idea of her with anyone EXCEPT Angel. Anyways, I was not happy when Buffy ran after him thinking she loved him, so 'Instead of Buffy not letting Riley walk away, she goes after Angel'.

Author's Note: I am writing after seeing last night's ep of Buffy, because it makes me sick how she says she loves Riley. I have other stories as well, I would like it very much if you could R/R those. Oh, if you want more to this you must R/R good or bad. And please tell me a better title if you have one.

* * *

**Chapter Seven:**

"Well," Buffy said, walking back out into the lobby, "It'll be over by midnight, so long as she doesn't do another spell of course."

A sigh of relief went through Wesly and Cordeila .

"Where's Angel?" The slayer asked.

"He is downstairs with Spike and Dawn woke up a few minutes ago."

Buffy nodded and walked upstairs to her sisters room.

"Dawn?" She asked, knocking as she entered the room.

The younger sister was sitting on the bed with books everywhere and not looking happy.

"Whatcha doin'?" Buffy asked, trying to hide her frustration and anger with Dawn.

"Homework." Dawn grumbled.

"Good. Needs to be done, you go back on Tuesday."

"Yea." Dawn said in a very disappointed tone.

"Look, Dawnie." Buffy said sitting on the bed. "You know I am always here for you right?'

"Yea." She replied and quickly changing the subject. "Have you heard anything about mom's surgery?"

Buffy looked at her watch, "She probably still out of it and in recovery by now. I spoke to them before we left to come here and they said she should be able to see people tomorrow around 2:00 PM. They have tests to run after the surgery."

Her sister nodded.

"Dawn, look we need to talk."

Silence.

"I know what you did."

Silence.

"Want to talk about it?"

"About what? I haven't done anything."

"Yes you have, now we are going to discuss this." Buffy said sternly.

"Okay look, I never meant to ditched the whole day, me and some friends went out and hours flew by and before you know it the day was over. BUT I made up all the work and I'll never do it again."

The slayer had to hide her surprisement, this was not what she was expecting.

"Good. And don't do it again. I am going to keep a close eye on you, do you understand?"

Dawn nodded.

"I need to finish this paper or else I'll never do it." She said.

"Alright." Buffy said as she got up off the bed.

* * *

Angel was downstairs sparring with Cordeila. She had come down for their session shortly before Spike went upstairs.

Buffy came barreling downstairs messing up their concentration without realizing it.

"I don't know what to do Angel." She not looking up. "I can't seem to confront Dawn on, I need hard evidence. When I said-" Looking up she realized what'd she done. The two were looking at her.

"Oh, sorry – I'll- I'll just go back upstairs." The slayer said turning around.

"No wait." Angel said stopping her.

"No it's fine. We'll talk later."

She kept walking.

"Buffy." Angel said walking towards her. "Please don't go."

"Yea it's fine." Cordeila said smiling at the two. "We can also do this later."

"You sure?" Buffy asked.

"Oh totally." Cordy replied as she was walking upstairs and Buffy was walking down.

"What's going on?" Angel asked.

The slayer sighed.

Angel had to two of them sit down on the steps.

"Talk to me." He urged with an urgency.

Things were not going as planned. The love of his life just came back to him, an instead of talking and finding ways to make this work out they were off killing 30 vampires, stopping love spells, and doing anything and everything that in the end kept them away from what they wanted.

Was this a sign?

"Angel, I went to confront her. I told I knew what she had done. But she told me about ditching school. I had no idea. It seemed like she was truly sorry for it, but now I am going to need hard evidence before I can go accusing her of a love spell WITHOUT loosing her trust because I read her dairy. And then there's mom-"

"Oh is perfectly fine."

"How do you know?"

"Because I called for you. Said I was her brother. Joyce is resting peacefully. They said it'll still be a few hours until she wakes up, they need to do a few things to her in the morning to make sure there is no build up of fluid in her brain from the surgery. Tomorrow around 1:30 would be a good time for you to be there to see her."

Buffy smiled. She had such a wonderful man.

"Thanks for calling. But what do I do about Dawn?"

"You've gotta take the risk of her not trusting you, Buffy."

"How am I supposed to fix things if she can't trust me Angel?"

"I'm not sure. Look maybe we can collect the things she used, or have Willow cast a truth spell and pretend it messed up."

Buffy shook her head. "No. I'll handle this. I'll figure it out all on my own."

Angel leaned over and went to kiss her forehead, but Buffy moved so he'd get her mouth. The kiss was filled with sweet love. It was soft and gently. After a moment they broke apart and the slayer looked at Angel.

"Where's Spike?"

"He went upstairs before you came down. Said he was going to talk with Wesly."

"When I came down Wesly was on the phone with Spike no where to be seen."

The lovers stared at eachother for a moment and then bolted upstairs to Dawn's room. When they got there, they busted in through the door to find Buffy's sister sitting in Spike's lap.

Dawn jumped up. "You should have knocked!" She screamed at her sister.

"What in the hell are you thinking?!" Buffy yelled.

"What? Your with Angel and he's a vampire."

"Yea but he isn't under some freakin' spell Dawn!"

Her sisters face fell. She was shocked.

"Yea that's right. I know what you have done, and I have been trying to figure out how in the hell to deal with it without get mom involved."

"Please don't tell mom."

"Spell?" Spike asked.

Angel walked over to Spike while the two Summer's girls battled it out.

"Yea, Dawn aimed a loved spell for Xander, you got in the way and it hit you. Should be over in about 90 minutes."

"Guess that's why this has felt so strange huh?"

"Probably."

"BUFFY!"

"No, I do not want to hear it." The slayer said packing up several of her sister's books, candles, and anything that looked magical.

Dawn sat down on her bed and started crying causing Buffy to stop doing what she was doing. Both the vampires made their way out of the bedroom to give them privacy.

"What is it?!" Buffy exclaimed, frustrated and worried. "Why'd you do it?"

"I feel alone Buffy. I know it wasn't right, but you've always had someone, everyone at school has someone. I need someone to talk to, and I feel like I have no one! And Spike was always there, I just… I don't know."

"Dawn I'm here for you!"

"No your not. You and mom are so busy and it really isn't even your faults, I just feel like I have been left in the dark! I needed someone to love me."

Buffy too began crying. "No it is my fault. I was so busy trying to make something with Riley that wasn't there. I did put you on the back burner, I just wish you would have said something to me earlier!"

"I couldn't, with mom and everything…"

"Oh Dawn. I'm going to fix everything. I love you, you're my sister and never again will I put you on the back burner." She smiled through her tears and hugged her sister.

As the pulled apart Buffy looked at her sister, "You didn't… you didn't, um… did you?"

Dawn just looked at her. "NO!"

"Good." The slayer replied. "But this doesn't mean I am not going to be watching you for your little confession earlier about ditching school."

"Crap Buffy, I was hoping you'd forget about that."

"Sorry, come on lets get downstairs."

Dawn nodded "I'm starved."

As they walked down the stairs Dawn hollered down that she was hungry, but didn't get a response from anyone.

Buffy looked around and found Angel sitting on the couch and looked like he was in shock, next to him he saw Willow standing with Giles and Xander near by.

"Ummm…. What's going on?" Buffy asked. "Angel are you okay?"

She sat next to him on the sofa placing her hand on his knee. After a moment Angel turned to his lover. "Buffy my shanshu is beginning."

TBC………

Next Chapter, last part!!


	8. The End

By: Tater

Title: Lost Without You

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the story idea itself.

Rating: PG13

Summery: This is about the episode that was shown last night. I have never been fond of Riley, and hate him - or really the whole idea of Buffy with Riley. Hell I hate the idea of her with anyone EXCEPT Angel. Anyways, I was not happy when Buffy ran after him thinking she loved him, so 'Instead of Buffy not letting Riley walk away, she goes after Angel'.

Author's Note: I am writing after seeing last night's ep of Buffy, because it makes me sick how she says she loves Riley. I have other stories as well, I would like it very much if you could R/R those. Oh, if you want more to this you must R/R good or bad. And please tell me a better title if you have one.

* * *

**Chapter Eight:**

"Wha-what?" Buffy asked taking a deep breath.

"Shanshu, it's a prophecy where I become human and it's beginning."

Tears filled in Buffy's eyes. "I know I have read it before, but never in my wildest dreams did I think it's be in my life time."

"Neither did I Buffy. We really do have a chance."

They lovers smiled at eachother.

"Buffy, there is a great prophecy stating that the souled ones love for the slayer will bring peace to the world. We believe it is you, there are no others like you two. Faith is the only other slayer, and Angel is the only souled vampire."

"How- how do you know shanshu has begun Giles?" Buffy asked trying not to be too hopeful.

"The stars aligned the other night, it's has to do with many mathematical equations, and astrology. The night before Riley left was 1 week before Angel's 250th birthday and the stars aligned then, and again the night you came here. They will align on Tuesday, and on the anniversary of his soul being restored. Everything is falling into the place. The Powers that Be even sent a seer to me Buffy. All this has happened for a reason. Riley left, Xander gave you that speech. We couldn't just tell you, you'd have stayed in Sunnydale."

Buffy nodded knowing it was true.

"You had to make the choice yourself to come and see Angel. It had to be proven that you were not over him, that there was still love in your heart for this man, and you needed to be with him without needed hour approval. I know it was a nasty way to go about it but we had to."

Willow looked at her friend. "I am so sorry but it was the only way. Hell I don't even understand it completely. But apparently the risk of loosing your friends didn't matter when it came to love which was a good thing." She said smiling.

"And now that soul boy here will be human soon, we don't have to worry about Angelus visiting us because you two did the deed." Xander joined it.

"Xander." Buffy said lightly smacking his arm.

Tears rolled down Buffy and Angel's cheeks. This was the best news they'd ever heard.

"Oh Angel." Buffy cried in his arms. "Everything is going to be okay."

She smiled at him and they kissed. "Your going to be human."

The slayer gently placed her hand over his heart.

"Thump thump, thump thump."

"Giles none of what you said makes any sense, but thank you." Angel said to his lovers 'father'.

The watcher just smiled at the two.

"Why did you all come here?" Buffy asked when they broke apart.

"When you called me Buffy I could hear in your voice how you thought we hated you for your choice. We just couldn't tell you to come visit Angel, you had to figure out if he's what you wanted, even if we didn't like it, it was the only way. I'm sorry Buffy."

The slayer hugged her wiccan friend "Just don't do it again." She said smiling. "Xander get over here."

The three sat in an embrace for a moment.

Spike, looking around and realizing no one was paying attention to him or Dawn, casually walked over to her.

"Hey little bit." He said.

Dawn smiled. She really did like Spike. The two went sneaking off towards Angel's office.

Both Buffy and Angel noticed the two walking off, they looked at eachother and headed where the two snuck off to.

"I'm going to kill her." Buffy said.

"I'm going to kill him." Angel replied.

When they got to the office they saw both of them just sitting and talking.

* * *

"I really am sorry about the spell Spike. It wasn't supposed to hit you, and when it did I just kept it going."

"It's alright."

"No, I just felt so alone. I-I was jealous of everyone else for having boyfriends, or in Willow and Xander's case girlfriends."

Spike chuckled. "Never feel lonely pet. I'm always here for ya."

Dawn smiled. "That's the spell talking."

"Nope." He said pointing to the clock. "Ended about five minutes ago."

"Thanks Spike." She said hugging him. "You the best friend a girl could have."

"Yea yea, just don't go spreading it around, and this whole casting love spells has gotta stop." He smiled at her.

"Deal."

"Now what do ya say we get back out there before they think something's up?"

The two of them got up and head for the door as Buffy and Angel quickly ran back to the lobby.

* * *

The next morning Buffy sat at the kitchen table with Angel.

"Well, it's been two days and we still haven't been able to talk about much of anything." Buffy said.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, I'm the one who passed out last night."

Angel smiled at the thought of her sleeping, and at the thought of waking up to her. It was the best feeling in the world.

"I can't stay long today sadly, gotta get the house ready for mom to come home tomorrow, and Dawn had school Tuesday, I go back then too so it's kind of hectic."

"That's our lives." Angel said. He was more than a little upset.

"Talk to me." The slayer replied.

"You come back here showing me we can make it work, then we find out my shanshu has begun, and now we can't even enjoy the information because we can't see eachother. It's just a little upsetting."

Buffy was surprised to see Angel showing real emotion in just a normal conversation.

"You can come up this weekend. I can't come down until mom has damn near fully recovered, but it doesn't mean you can't come see me. Not to mention we need to break the news to my mother."

Angel looked at her wide eyed. "We?"

Buffy laughed at his nervousness, "Yes, we. We're in this together now. Right? I mean I don't even know where we stand at the moment, what we are, or what news it is I am supposed to break to my mother."

"We are together Buffy. Always and forever, nothing can change that now. You're my girlfriend. That is if the job for being your boyfriend is still open."

The slayer smiled at him. "Sorry, but see I met this incredibly hot guy when I was 16 and have been in love ever since. No room in my heart for any other men."

"Better not be." He replied smiling, catching her mother in a sweet kiss.

About an hour later the scoobies began loading up, except Giles and Spike. Giles was staying behind to go over the prophecy with Wesly and Spike didn't want to hide under a blanket for 2 ½ hours.

"I'm going to see you this weekend, right?" Buffy asked.

"I'll be up Friday after sunset." Her lover replied.

"I love you Angel."

"I love you Beloved."

"Buffy come on!" Dawn hollered from the back seat. "We don't want to be late."

"She's right." Angel said. "Don't want to be late, I'll call you later tonight."

Buffy nodded, and then suddenly she embraced her Angel is a fierce kiss. One of need and urgency.

" Okay I feel better now." She said smiling when they pulled apart. "I'll miss you."

"And I'll miss you, but we'll talk all the time, and see eachother every weekend. We'll make this work Buffy." Angel swore.

"We will." She said nodded. "I better go. If I stand here one more minute I'll never leave."

The slayer turned and got into the car, as she started the ignition she turned to Angel.

"Angel."

"Yea."

"Ya know this morning when you smiled?"

He nodded.

"Do it more often, you looked real sexy." She said grinning.

Had he been able to, Angel would have blushed.

With that, Buffy rolled up the windows and headed to her house where she would make it suitable for her mother to be in come morning. The whole way home she has a smile plastered on her face, and she couldn't tell you what her sister and friend discussed the whole way home because Buffy couldn't pay attention, all she could think about was her future. Angel's future. **_Their_** future **_together_**. It was a dream come true.

Everything was going to be alright, she could feel it. The slayer no longer felt lost, she had found the person her made her whole again. She realized that these past few years she had been lost without him.

She just smiled.

THE END 

What did ya think? Want a sequel? Give me feedback!

PS) Crappy ending, I know and am sorry, but I couldn't think of anything, please forgive me!!!!!


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